This is the first year of my life that I shall not be celebrating Mother’s Day with my Mother. It’s been much more difficult than I had expected. The commercials on the radio and the television are relentless. Walk in any store and the reminders and special aisles full of trinkets and cards are overwhelming. Catalogs and coupons fill my mailbox with an urgency to buy her the best and most beautiful gift imaginable. Jewelry. Clothing. Household appliances. Something. Anything to make this a “special” day for the woman who gave you life.

I never paid much attention to such advertising in previous years, as I knew what my Mama loved. Flowers. Colorful flowers of all kinds for planting in her various gardens and pots around the yard. I would buy purple pansies. Pink “wave” petunias. And various and sundry other annuals that brought a sea of color to her life. We would plant them and the joy on her face once they were in the ground was as magical as it was when I would bring her a handful of dandelions or violets when I was a wee lass. I loved bringing her flowers on Mother’s Day.

This year will be different

I can bring flowers to decorate the gravesite, and I will. I can imagine her face, lit up with love and affection, and I will. I can steep the day in the memories of past Mother’s Days, and I will. But there is nothing that will ease the ache in my heart, the emptiness of my first Mother’s Day without her. It’s the same ache that has filled my life in the nine months since she has been gone. Add to this month my Father’s birthday and their wedding anniversary and I know it’s going to be a tough one. But I also know I shall get through, as they would have wanted me to, taking it one day at a time.

Happy Mother’s Day Ma Mere. I miss you. I miss your physical presence. I miss your elegance and grace. I just miss you so much.

Love, Meg